How I Care For My Relaxed Hair!

I am writing this post because as I gain more length I am starting to get more attention/inquiries on my hair care regimen & what it is that I do & why. 

First I would like to reiterate that I DO RELAX MY HAIR!!!

Many people see that I am on a hair journey & automatically assume that I am natural. Being on a hair journey or developing a hair care regimen has allowed me to gain knowledge on how to maintain my hair relaxed as well as my kinky/coily new growth, which allows me to only relax my hair every 5-6 months. 

Another reason that I am writing this post is bc my blog is pretty much a journal for my journey. Some may reference it & find ideas here & there but it is not quite an informative hair care blog. I am only a year & a half in so I still consider myself learning. I post what I learn, as I learn. Then there are other things that I know of, but don't post because I don't utilize them. That is one thing you will learn if you are just starting out on your journey, there are MANY MANY products, DIY treatments, methods & hair utensils out here! There is no way that you will utilize everything that you read. So I don't consider this an informative blog bc I am a bit selfish...if I don't do it, I don't write about it. Perhaps one day I'll grow, when the traffic starts coming in & I have questions to answer & requested posts, but until then this entire blog is based on what I've learned & what I've found useful. 

Ok now down to what I do!!!

Daily:

 I take my vitamins bc my diet is not the best & I spritz my hair with a DYI Green Tea & oil mix.

I spritz my hair for a tad bit of moisture.

Every other day I oil my scalp with an oil. Sometimes (most times) it's Castor Oil, but right now it's Liquid Gold Sulfur BasedOil. Both are for growth aids.

I also moisturize my hair every other day & GHE.

What do I moisturize with?

Mizani Overnight Tx

Mizani ButterRich Hairdress or

ORS Moisturizing Hair Lotion.

What is GHE?

It's Oiling your scalp & moisturizing your hair, then placing a plastic cap over your hair followed by a head scarf for at least 30 minutes.

Weekly:

I cowash with V05 Clarifying Conditioner.

Cowashing is cleansing the hair witha conditioner opposed to shampoo.  I know it sounds sketchy but it truly does cleanse my hair while adding & reserving moisture.

DeepCondition: I deep condition under a hooded dryer weekly.

Monthly:

Clarify hair with an ACV rinse.

Apple Cider Vinegar rinses clarifies hair while closing the hair shaft creating a smooth & sleek look. 

I use 2 tablespoons of ACV w/ 2 cups of water. Pour over hair, allow to sit for 2-5 minutes then rinse in cool water.

Protein Treatment: I use Aphogee 2 min Reconstructor for protein. 

I also seem to flat iron my

Hair once a month. It's not my intentions to do it so frequently but I do love being able to show my hair off every once & a while. When ever I do flat iron I use the comb & chase method &ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS use a heat protectant. 

After straightening my hair I use my Split Ender to dust for split ends. 

Outside of straightening my hair I use buns & wigs as protective styles & Bantu Knot Outs & Braid Outs as low manipulation styles.

My current length is APL: 

 

Follow The Light

Hi Guys!!! I know I said that I would pick up on jealousy in realtionships, but I have been moved to talk about something a bit more vital. Besides the only advice I have for relationship jealousy is to love and have so much faith in yourself, that you do not care for whom your spouse talks to, for they hold no competition to you.

Now today's topic is hard to put a title on but it is simply following God's light and ignoring any distractions. I am a Christian, you are free to believe what ever you want to believe, but in reading this blog, you will see alot of references to God.

What I mean when I say follow His light, is to learn His word, speak His word, and follow His word, do as He say do, despite what curve balls that the devil may send you.

Not everyone is as faithful or God fearing as you are, they are more susceptible to to fall victim to the devil's work and ignorantly work for him to distract you.
God allows the devil to do these things (my beleif) as a way of showing him that he is wrong and that you are so faithful that nothing that he does can turn you away from Him (God). Keeping this in mind, in any adversity you should feel entitled to stand tall and tell the devil exactly where he can go, because you have God on your team.

It's those big storms that the devil expects to make us question God, be angry with Him, and perhaps even hate God; however, there are mini challenges to test your ability to follow his light in even the smallest of ways.

These things may seem so minute that you forget they even count; for example say someone is talking down on you, really putting you down and hurting you. How do you react? Do you lash back to hurt them equally, or show them off, or do you take it at surface value, politely end the conversation, and go pray to God to take Saten off of you and out of you.

Doing the latter would be passing the mini challenge. God wants us to be good to our brothers and sisters, even when they are not so good to us.

The devil is our biggest hater, he sees what God has promised us and by all means he (the devil) does not want to see us do good and definitely does not want to see us love and obey God.

The only way we can reach our promised destination is to follow God. The devil will do anything to get you off coarse and steer you in the wrong direction. If you are focused on your goal and headed in the right path, someone may try to hurt you, make you feel like you are not doing enough, or doing it right. Do not feel bad about the scenery or the distance that you have to take to get to God's promise, if it becomes to tempting and overwhelming pray it out. God is here to help us, He just needs to know that we are here for Him, just as He is here for us.

Like us, to our own children, they do not always understand why we say "no" or have to punish them, though we know it is for their own good, so that they might know right from wrong and be successful adults. That is how our relationship is with our Father, we may not always understand His way, but we must remember and truy believe that it is meant only for the good of us. God will never hurt us

This past weekend, I almost let the devil unravel everything that God and I had been building on, but thanks to fresh air and a good God I was able to catch myself, talk to God and remind myself that it is not HERE that I am living for, it is for my ETERNAL life in Heaven with my God.

You guys, be blessed, stay safe and prayed up.
Take care, until next Sunday.

The Green Eyed Monster: Jealousy.

What is jealousy? What is YOUR definition of being jealous (comment)?

Jealous is defined as: 1. Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievement
and achievements and advantages.
2. Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness
in a relationship.

Let's start with the first definition. Imagine that you have a friend who seemed to always get the things that you desired the most; whether it be relationship wise, career or even materialistically, while you on the other hand seemed to get the short end of the stick, you seemed to always have to work harder, try harder, or just plain old seem to fail.

Would you find yourself being genuinely happy for this friend and his/her achievements, blessings, or "luck", or would you find it a bit upsetting at how "easy" they seem to have it? Would you find yourself secretly wishing that they had to struggle a little bit more, or even encountered some dissappoints? If it is the latter, then you are suffering from a bit of jealousy my friend.

Do not be alarmed or even feel bad, it is a natural human emotion, but how you let that emotion affect you is key. Although it is a natural emotion it is not a pleasant one, and nothing positive comes from being jealous. You HAVE to nip it in the bud as soon as you realize it, and perhaps this post can guide you into that. Again, I am not a professional. I am a normal woman, who had to fight this battle head on myself, and learn the harder way.

How Can You Stop Feeling Jealous?

First recognize that you and that other person are two different people, living two different lives, headed down different paths. Even if they are similar paths, they are still different. The road blocks, obstacles, and even the scenery that you must path to reach your destination, is unique to your path. While that person may be recieving things that are not destined to you, likewise you too are recieving things that are not destined to them. Find pleasure in what is unique to you.

While it may not seem very fair to watch things that you have to struggle to obtain, so easily being handed down to the next person, take pride in your strength, your determination, and your will to succeed. No matter how bad the situation may be, if you do not search for the positivity in it, you will never see it. Strength, fight, determination and will are all positive attribute that only the strongest and most deserving obtain.

Also understand that everyone has their own struggle. Noone's life is perfect, while you may be looking at everything that he/she has or is doing, wishing it could be you, someone else is looking at how wonderful your life is, wishing that they were in your shoes. Appreciate that, don't focus so much on what everyone else is doing, that you fail to see your own fortune.

Do not allow jealous to handicap you and damage your surrounding relationships/friendships. Though being jealous may be private to your own thoughts, it can and will affect how you treat your loved ones. You can become mean or hateful towards them or simply just seem to be angry at them for what seems to them, no reason at all, when in reality you are not mad at them...you are just upset with the things that they have. So remember that is not their fault, remember all of that I have stated about and you can and will combat your feeling of jealousy.

Remember to smile and genuinely be happy for their achievements, and remind yourself that even if it takes a little more time and effort, you too will reach your dreams. There is nothing wrong with a little hard work.

Throughout this please remember, to live your life. Do not get so caught up in jealousy that you lose yourself, trying to keep up with what the next person is doing. I had to realize this the, I guess you can say hard way...Example...I am pretty cheap when it comes to clothing, I shiver at the thought of a $40 pair of jeans, an $80 dress is HILARIOUS to me...and a $30 shirt ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!! LOL Yes I am a Forever 21, Wet Seal, and TJ Maxx wearing sistah...I have friends who only wear name brand, and high end clothing, at one point in my life, I felt as though I HAD to buy and spend that much on clothes just to keep up. Although in my heart I didn't feel that it was necessary to pay that much, the clothes weren't that impressive to me, but because they were doing it, I felt compelled to do so to. I was not staying true to myself, I was lost in someone else's life. It was then I realized that just because we are different, does not make one person wrong or right, and it does not make the next person better than the other...we are just that different. She choose to spend her money on the quality (I guess) of clothing and I perfer quantity, as long as we both look nice...it's still clothing, but that is another post, but I didn't want to leave that out because it can be associated with jealousy as well...losing yourself.

Well because this is lengthy and I don't want you to get bored or fall asleep, we will pick up next Sunday on Jealous part II, with the second definition of jealousy:
Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship

"Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to." -Henry Ford