What is jealousy? What is YOUR definition of being jealous (comment)?
Jealous is defined as: 1. Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievement
and achievements and advantages.
2. Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness
in a relationship.
Let's start with the first definition. Imagine that you have a friend who seemed to always get the things that you desired the most; whether it be relationship wise, career or even materialistically, while you on the other hand seemed to get the short end of the stick, you seemed to always have to work harder, try harder, or just plain old seem to fail.
Would you find yourself being genuinely happy for this friend and his/her achievements, blessings, or "luck", or would you find it a bit upsetting at how "easy" they seem to have it? Would you find yourself secretly wishing that they had to struggle a little bit more, or even encountered some dissappoints? If it is the latter, then you are suffering from a bit of jealousy my friend.
Do not be alarmed or even feel bad, it is a natural human emotion, but how you let that emotion affect you is key. Although it is a natural emotion it is not a pleasant one, and nothing positive comes from being jealous. You HAVE to nip it in the bud as soon as you realize it, and perhaps this post can guide you into that. Again, I am not a professional. I am a normal woman, who had to fight this battle head on myself, and learn the harder way.
How Can You Stop Feeling Jealous?
First recognize that you and that other person are two different people, living two different lives, headed down different paths. Even if they are similar paths, they are still different. The road blocks, obstacles, and even the scenery that you must path to reach your destination, is unique to your path. While that person may be recieving things that are not destined to you, likewise you too are recieving things that are not destined to them. Find pleasure in what is unique to you.
While it may not seem very fair to watch things that you have to struggle to obtain, so easily being handed down to the next person, take pride in your strength, your determination, and your will to succeed. No matter how bad the situation may be, if you do not search for the positivity in it, you will never see it. Strength, fight, determination and will are all positive attribute that only the strongest and most deserving obtain.
Also understand that everyone has their own struggle. Noone's life is perfect, while you may be looking at everything that he/she has or is doing, wishing it could be you, someone else is looking at how wonderful your life is, wishing that they were in your shoes. Appreciate that, don't focus so much on what everyone else is doing, that you fail to see your own fortune.
Do not allow jealous to handicap you and damage your surrounding relationships/friendships. Though being jealous may be private to your own thoughts, it can and will affect how you treat your loved ones. You can become mean or hateful towards them or simply just seem to be angry at them for what seems to them, no reason at all, when in reality you are not mad at them...you are just upset with the things that they have. So remember that is not their fault, remember all of that I have stated about and you can and will combat your feeling of jealousy.
Remember to smile and genuinely be happy for their achievements, and remind yourself that even if it takes a little more time and effort, you too will reach your dreams. There is nothing wrong with a little hard work.
Throughout this please remember, to live your life. Do not get so caught up in jealousy that you lose yourself, trying to keep up with what the next person is doing. I had to realize this the, I guess you can say hard way...Example...I am pretty cheap when it comes to clothing, I shiver at the thought of a $40 pair of jeans, an $80 dress is HILARIOUS to me...and a $30 shirt ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!! LOL Yes I am a Forever 21, Wet Seal, and TJ Maxx wearing sistah...I have friends who only wear name brand, and high end clothing, at one point in my life, I felt as though I HAD to buy and spend that much on clothes just to keep up. Although in my heart I didn't feel that it was necessary to pay that much, the clothes weren't that impressive to me, but because they were doing it, I felt compelled to do so to. I was not staying true to myself, I was lost in someone else's life. It was then I realized that just because we are different, does not make one person wrong or right, and it does not make the next person better than the other...we are just that different. She choose to spend her money on the quality (I guess) of clothing and I perfer quantity, as long as we both look nice...it's still clothing, but that is another post, but I didn't want to leave that out because it can be associated with jealousy as well...losing yourself.
Well because this is lengthy and I don't want you to get bored or fall asleep, we will pick up next Sunday on Jealous part II, with the second definition of jealousy:
Feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship
"Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to." -Henry Ford
No comments:
Post a Comment